Ssshhhh! Don't tell anyone I've written this!

After buggering up my facebook account yesterday and almost losing all my photos and links to my real human friends, I decided it was time to come out of the closet… the writing closet, that is. It’s a bit like that wardrobe that goes to Narnia, except all you’ll find inside mine is a pile of mishmashed thoughts, half-baked novel plots and quite a lot of drivel. Of course, being a writer, part of my job is to be self-deprecating and act as a staunch non-believer in my own worth. Maybe it’s the irrational fear that people will think that some of what my characters do are things that I’ve done?

So just to clarify – to date, I have not:

– Stabbed my boyfriend  and ended up strapped to a bed in an asylum

– Set my primary school on fire

– Employed the use of taxidermy to preserve my elderly wife

– Been hit by a tube train and died on the tracks

– Planned to kill my father by drugging his casserole

– Conducted odd experiments on subjects in a sleep clinic

– Tipped over a field of cows

– Escaped from Broadmoor and killed a man in the toilets of Reading train station

– Fallen drunkenly off a stool in the Tram & Social in Tooting (note the specifics…)

– Seen a flower that has actual eyes

– Bought a ghost from eBay

– Applied for a job as a serial killer (not yet…)

– Been suffocated by my own hoardings (ditto…)

– Snorted coke off a wheelie bin

– Killed someone on an ice rink

– Stabbed a tramp near Blackfriars bridge

– Smothered a student in her sleep

– Got my hair cut too often because I fancied the hairdresser

– Worked as a doctor in a dystopian city named after a Monkees song

– Been a single father and fireman who can’t bake very well

– Been a young boy at school during the Battle of Britain

– Crashed my car while being scolded for being drunk by a talking dog

I have, however, had fictional characters who’ve done these things. If you like some of my stuff, let me know. Also let me know if you don’t like it; constructively, that is. There’s no need for ‘this is shit’ type critiques – they don’t really help anyone 😉 I relish your feedback. I won’t cry. The main thing is that I’m enjoying it… and if I get somewhere one day, that’s just a bonus.

The biggest thrill for me is when someone tells me they like something I’ve written. So for anyone who’s already done that – thank you! I am nothing without my small and loyal army of fans 🙂

P.S. Almost reached 27k on NaNoWrMo. Past half way now. Last week was a struggle, but I got there. I think one of the new characters will have to be completely rewritten because he’s a bit of a knob, and that wasn’t really how I envisaged him. If you want to see where I’m at with it, its updated on Smashwords every day (as a back up more than anything, but 50 people have downloaded it… unfortunately no one has told me if they’ve actually read it…) PLEASE remember my disclaimer though – this is a first draft and is being written over a month, it’s nowhere near perfect, but you might still like it (and you might be able to help when I start the first edit!)

5 thoughts on “Ssshhhh! Don't tell anyone I've written this!

  1. Hi Alex – its crime/thriller/adult – have a look at the link on the right Black Sheep: A NaNoWriMo novel – you can read it in progress on Smashwords for free. Not edited, remember, so be kind 😉 I also have a few links to some longer stuff on my website (also on the links section on the right).

    Thanks for being my first commenter… if I had a prize, you’d win it 😉


  2. Phew, I was relieved to see you hadn’t tried to poison your father with the casserole yet. Those things can be bad enough as it is but would surely mask the taste of any poison you might inject.

    Great site, and blog, look forward to visiting you more often.


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